


Lucky

by LittleTurtle95



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bill Denbrough is a Good Friend, Coming Out, Dubcon Kissing, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Good Boyfriend, First Kiss, Gaslighting, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Jealous Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Mentioned Henry Bowers, Minor Violence, Protective Eddie Kaspbrak, Protective Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Stanley Uris is So Done, Underage Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-12 05:09:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleTurtle95/pseuds/LittleTurtle95
Summary: Based on the prompt: "Richie gets in an abusive relationship with Bowers' cousin and the losers help him realise he's not good for him"Or: Connor Bowers is everything Richie could never be. Athletic, good looking, charming, popular. Richie has definitely a crush for him and now he's finally dating him.He should be feeling lucky, right?  So lucky. But he isn't and he doesn't know why.





	Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> TW: underage kissing, minor violence (three punches, nothing graphic), dubCon kissing, gaslighting

Two weeks after they defeated Pennywise the losers were having the time of their lives.

It was the beginning of eight grade, they were close as ever, Beverly visited every two weekends, Mike was finally getting paid for his job, the clubhouse was always full of laughter and easy chatting and they were ready to enjoy their last year of middle school. They were still losers, they missed getting along with Bev every day, but they knew they had each other's backs, no matter what. That was until he saw Connor in front of his porch that day.

"Fuck off" Richie said, trying to get past him and get inside. He hated that boy, he hated he still found him attractive, he hated the way his breath fastened when he saw him, he hated how stubborn the little shit was looking.

"Wait" the other almost yelled, grabbing his wrist with too much strength.

"You here to take your cousin's place and beat me up? Because I've had enough of it. Let go"

"The asshole got arrested. He killed my uncle"

"No way" Richie said shooting him with a skeptical look, still scared. He didn't get what was it all about.

"Kiss me"

Richie's eyes widened and he tried to free himself from the other's hold. "What? Absolutely not!" he yelled, terrified. 

This had to be some kind of prank and he knew how it was supposed to end. Probably Connor's friends were waiting behind the corner ready to beat the shit how of him as soon as he tried to do what he was asked to.

"Kiss me. I know you want to. My cousin is gone. I don't have to worry about him anymore" his voice was firm and his look serious. Richie couldn't believe what he was hearing and he was probably showing it in his face because the other boy leaned in and did it himself.

Kissing was good. That was the first thing he thought when the danger drills that were screaming in his brain finally shut up. Kissing another boy was good. And Connor was good, too. His lips were soft and his hands were caressing Richie's hair. He closed his eyes and for a moment everything felt numb. Fuzzy. He was so overwhelmed with the sensation that when the other pulled back he was somehow disappointed.

Connor smirked. "First time, huh? I can tell"

"Was... was it that bad?"

The blonde boy shrugged. His mischievous eyes, soft hair and smart face were endearing to Richie's eyes and he thought he should feel lucky. So lucky.

"It'll get better. Well, I hope so" he replied, then finally he let go of the wrist. "Not a word with anyone loser, or I'll end you" he whispered in Richie's hear and stepped back.

"Got it?"

Richie slowly nodded, confused.

"Good. See you at the kissing bridge tomorrow. Three pm. Don't be late" the boy said, and started walking away.

Richie's mind was still numb. He didn't understand. Connor had called him a faggot only a few weeks before, he had insulted him in front of everyone. Richie hated him so much and yet kept liking him and hating himself for it. It all felt wrong. But he should feel lucky, now. The (second) boy he liked the most liked him back. At least, that's what it seemed.

Why did he feel so lost then? Why did it all feel so wrong and dirty?

_Because it _ ** _is_ ** _ dirty. Don't touch the other boys Richie. Your dirty little secret..._

He shook his head so hard his glasses nearly fell off his nose. Pennywise was gone, now, he couldn't fool him anymore. It wasn't dirty, liking boys wasn't. And Connor should've liked him if he kissed him, that's how it worked. He sighed and came in, his parents weren't home.

"Disappointed but not surprised" he muttered to himself before walking absently straight to his room.

* * *

They've been dating for two weeks when it happened. Even if they never said the word "dating" out loud Richie guessed that was what they were doing.

They met almost every day hiding behind some trees under the kissing bridge and kissed. They never talked much. Sometimes Connor was upset for some reason he didn't share Richie with and made harsh comments about Richie's kissing skills that made his heart ache.

He didn't go to the clubhouse so often anymore, and the others were starting to guess something was off, but he never answered their questions and they finally stopped asking.

All of them were clearly pissed, and he understood of course. He just basically ghosted them without a reason, and he couldn't certainly tell them he was actually seeing a boy, Bowers' cousin even! 

Richie felt miserable and sometimes wished he could just dump him and go back to his friends, but he knew he couldn't say no to him, not now that his (secondary) crush liked him back. He had spent so many years over heels after someone he knew was straight and could never ever love him back so he had to make this work.

They were walking on the bridge, Connor was frowning. It wasn't a good day for him apparently.

"Faster Tozier, someone could see us"

"Am coming" Richie replied, he had long lanky legs but was quite goofy. Connor was athletic, he was fast. Richie loved this about him. (But he didn't love _him_, that's for sure.)  
Suddenly, he stopped walking. His breath hitched, he was staring at a certain spot on the bridge, his mouth dry.

"What the hell, Richard? I just told you to hurry!"

"I'm sorry" he whispered, but still wasn't moving. "I don't know if I... maybe I should go home"

_R+E_

His craving was there, bright as it was when he did it, Richie wondered how come nobody saw it yet and thought about him and Eddie.

For him it was so obvious. His first instinct had always been to protect Eddie, lean over him when they were in danger, touch him when he was scared. 

And Eddie took care of him too, always bought him food because he knew he didn't have money, always invited him to sleep over when he noticed Richie's parents weren't caring enough, and that was often. And now he was going to hide under the bridge, the bridge he confessed his love to, with Connor Bowers?

"No, you shouldn't. Come now, it's getting late" Connor hold him like the first day they kissed and pushed him along. Richie's heart ached but he followed.

He didn't joke with Connor, he was never in the mood to. And they didn't bicker at all. They only kissed all the time. It was quite boring. But (Eddie didn't like him and) Connor was a cool guy he had a (weak) crush on, so it was okay, he thought.

When they were well hidden behind the woods under the bridge, Connor cupped his cheeks and kissed him hard. Richie closed his eyes shut trying to enjoy it.

Connor's kisses were easy to enjoy, he was really good at it. But as soon as he closed his eyes he didn't picture the blond spoiled boy and he didn't sink in Bowers' lips, but someone else's. Immediately after he noticed where his thoughts were going, he pulled apart.

"Fuck" he whispered, feeling a painful stab of guilt in his chest. It was like cheating, thinking about someone else while kissing your date, wasn't it?

"What's wrong, Richie?" the other one muttered, frowing. He softly touched his lower lip with his thumb looking almost worried. Thinking about Connor actually worrying over him made him feel better.

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"You know, you should definitely stop complaining and thank me for giving you attention. It's not everyday that someone like me makes out with someone like you"

Everything inside of him screamed. "What do you mean?" he asked with a broken voice.

"You know what I mean. Don't tell me you don't understand how lucky you are, that would be ridiculous"

The worst thing about it was that Richie knew he was right.

Connor was everything Richie could never be. Attractive, for example. Popular. Athletic. Smart. Richie was none of those things.

He should feel so lucky. But why didn't he? He cleaned his glasses with his left sleeve because he didn't want to look at him.

"I know. I know I am lucky" he whined.

"Good boy. Now shut up and come here, I want you"

* * *

The day after, he saw the losers glancing him confused looks. He knew he had bad eye bags and his friends knew him to well to not notice he was joking even less than usual that day. They still talked in school, they were still his friends, he was just going out with them a lot less than before and they sometimes snapped at him, but he totally understood why.

That's why he wasn't surprised when they sit in their usual table at the cafeteria Bill cleared is throat and told him "y-you have to t-tell us what's w-wrong, Richie".

He was stuttering, that meant there was _definitely_ something wrong. After Pennywise he was fastly getting better and he talked nicely most of the time. He only stuttered when he felt nervous or concerned.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking hopelessly at his mashed potatoes refusing to meet the others' eyes.

There were only them, the original group of friends. Richie, Bill, Stan and Eddie. Ben was visiting his aunts and was out of Derry for the whole week, Bev was long time gone and Mike didn't attend school.

"Don't bullshit us, Richie. You're avoiding us since school started" Stanley snapped.

Richie sighed heavily.

He heard a muffled noise and finally looked up. Eddie was looking for something in his fanny pack. The sight made him nearly snort, he would have if he wasn't feeling so overwhelmed.

"Take it and fucking tell us what's going on, asshole" Eddie said, giving him a small box full of white pills.

"You want to drug me up, Eds? You don't need to, you know, I'm already yours" he (said) joked.

"They're vitamins, dipshit. Take two of them and then tell us what's going on. You're clearly sleep deprived, this will help"

"H-here, drink some water to swallow. A-are you drinking water R-rich?"

He did what he was told. A part of him was happy that his friends still wanted to take care of him, but the other part hated them for it. That meant they could figure it out. He didn't want them to figure it out.

"It's not like I'm dying" he shrugged, when he finally took his pills and sipped some water.

"Well it looks like it so answer us or I swear to God..." Stan snapped, but Richie soon interrupted him.

"What if you're dating someone and that someone makes you feel like he doesn't even like you?" he blurted out without thinking.

The table fell silent. That was clearly not the kind of answer they were expecting.

"You dumped us for a girl Rich? Seriously?" Stan hissed. Bill was staring at him with wide eyes and Eddie looked paler than usual and somehow speechless.

"Wh-why didn't you tell u-us? We'd have i-invited her at the c-clubhouse! W-we could keep going out e-even if you're d-dating someone, you know"

"Well he didn't tell us and now I don't want her with us, he lost his chance" Eddie almost yelled and Richie tensed, hoping that Connor, who was currently sitting at the other side of the room, wasn't listening.

"I'm definitely with Eddie this time. You've been an asshole lately" Stan followed.

"We-we'll talk about it l-later. I-I think we're m-missing the point" Bill said, facing Richie and looking at him softly. "Richie asked us s-something, right? You shouldn't d-date someone that doesn't l-like you or make you f-feel liked, m-mate"

"It's true, you know? It's fucking rude, you should dump her" Eddie muttered, and then added "you know what? I don't care! We were worried for you, we were concerned, and you were just going around with some random girl, I don't even want to hear your bullshit, I'm out. Last time I worry about you ever". He stood up moving to the mostly empty table on the left, were Greta Keene was sitting with two of her friends.

"He's right" Stanley said, as he rolled his eyes, "but he's been nervous for weeks now, he's not that mad, don't mind him"

"I'm sorry" Richie pleaded, looking at Eddie wishing he could run to him and tell him everything.

"W-we forgive y-you, but you have to f-fix this"

"I don't know if I can. I think I'm... I think I'm in love" he whispered.

And it was true. It didn't matter if Bill and Stan thought he was talking about this imaginary girl he was imaginary dating. He wasn't in love with a girl, he wasn't even in love with the one he was dating, but they didn't have to know and his words made perfect sense anyway.

Stanley groaned loudly. "You can't be in love, you're thirteen, for fuck's sake"

"D-don't say t-that Stan, it's n-normal to feel like t-this" Bill reasoned, and Richie found himself wondering if he was ever been truly in love with Bev.

"Whatever, do something about it because it's getting boring without you, and Eddie has been insufferable ever since" Stanley said.

Richie sighed. He really played dirty with his friends, he made them worry, he abandoned them, and now Eddie was not talking to him. He looked at him several times during lunch break but he didn't look back at him once. 

His eyes were focused on his food, and he was trying to ignore Greta that was clearly messing with him. Richie wished he could yell at her to leave him alone.

* * *

When school ended hours later, Eddie hadn't spoke to him a word more. Richie thought he was feeling more miserable than when Bill punched him that summer. And when Bill punched him that summer Pennywise was still killing kids around, so that was saying something.  
  


Bill unsuccessfully tried to cheer both him and Eddie up during lessons, and Stanley was slightly annoyed all the time. As soon as they were out of school Richie excused himself and ran to their usual hiding spot, hoping that Connor would see him and decide to follow him.

The other boy, who was in front of school and was looking at him, noticed and did as expected. When they both were on the bridge Connor finally reached him.

Richie was nearly crying. He leaned on to kiss him, to forget what happened, to finally fix it, as Stan put it, and try to ignore the fact that Eddie hated him, when the other rejected him, pushing him away and looking at him in disgust.

"You told your friends. I heard you"  
he snapped, and Richie immediately shook his head scared.

"I swear, I didn't! They think I'm dating a girl, they don't know about us!"

Connor's blue eyes were full of rage and fear. "You're not dating anyone and there's no us! You're just a loser"

"I'm sorry, I..." Richie tried again to approach him, but the other stepped back.

"I never even liked you. You disgust me, you dirty faggot"

_You dirty faggot. Your dirty little secret. Don't touch the other boys Richie, or they'll know your secret_

The lanky boy felt his eyes going wet. He was confused and hurt. His chest ached, his mind kept spinning. He didn't understand. Connor's words and Pennywise's were echoing in his mind, when he felt a familiar voice behind him.

"What did you just say?"

Richie turned, and what he saw nearly gave him a heart attack.

"_Excuse me_, what did you just say? I'm not sure I heard well"

Eddie had just jumped off his bike and was coming close, he was frowning. Richie knew this look, he knew his friend was about to start endlessly rambling and yelling anxiously, talking a mile a minute, just like he did when something really pissed him off.

"Got a problem, wheezy?" Connor challenged him, looking amused.

"Got a problem? _Got a problem_? How dare you? How dare you, you hypocrite? Do you even know what the word faggot means? Do you even know who you're talking to? What's that, a pale attempt to sound less scared about yourself? Do you think calling others names will cancel who you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Why are you even here? You and your goofy attempt to stop being ashamed of yourself! You sound stupid, you know? Do you think your fucking hair are cool like this? They're so not! Do you think you're cool? Do you know that smoking makes only you feel dumb, huh? Do you know that clever people don't find you cool but dumb? Do you know that going out with boys and then insulting them doesn't make you any less of a-" 

Richie was looking amazed at the boy, small but so full of rage that he could have killed Bowers only yelling at him. 

He knew Eddie's rant couldn't be stopped, there was no way he could have stopped talking before he was finished with his anxious shouting and moving his hands frantically.

Or so he thought. Because apparently there was someway Eddie could be stopped, a way Richie would have never thought, let alone practice.

Apparently what Eddie said hit Connor's feelings a bit too hard because he raised his fist and punched Eddie full on the nose.

The boy yelped and covered his face with his hands, suddenly silent. He saw blood spilling out trough his fingers. He tried to step back but lost balance and fell on the ground.

"Your hair still suck" he heard him whisper with a teary voice, but maybe it was only his imagination because Richie's world stopped spinning as he saw his friend on the ground, blood in his hands and tears in his eyes.

It was like something in him clicked and his numb brain suddenly cleared. Without even thinking he punched the other boy's gut with all his strength. Connor was caught off guard so he couldn't respond properly and Richie punched him again on his chin.

"Don't you dare talk to me or my friend ever again, you asshole!" he shouted, now Connor was bleeding too. He must have bitten his tongue when Richie's fist hit his jaw. He was crying.

"I killed something way scarier than you so be careful! And mind your fucking business or I'm telling everyone what we've been doing for the past month! Got it?"

The boy looked terrified. He probably was fighting the urge to start sobbing and Richie couldn't care less. Connor didn't even nod and ran away. The tall boy sighed in relief, when a muffled cry reminded him he wasn't alone.

"Fuck. Fuck Eds"

He kneeled next to the boy who was trying to stop the bleeding from his nose.

"I'm gonna pass out I'm gonna pass out I'm gonna pass out I'm gonna pass out" blood scared the hell out of him and the boy was probably having a hard time not freaking completely out.

"You're not, you're not gonna pass out Eds, let me see"

"Do not fucking touch me! It hurts Richie! Don't you dare!"

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" he whispered helplessly, while the other was feverishly looking in his fanny pack.

When he finally grabbed a towel and started dabbing the blood, his shoulders relaxed and he looked calmer. He turned a bit to face Richie for the first time since he stepped on the bridge.

"Who the hell are you going out with, Richard? Bowers' cousin? Fucking seriously? You dumped us for Connor fucking Bowers? We must really suck to you!" he managed to say with a nasal voice, still holding his nose with the towel.

Richie looked at him ashamed and in pain. He knew he couldn't explain himself without telling him what he felt and that hurted more than anything.

"I'm sorry you got hurt. Thanks for standing up for me like that"

"I wouldn't have to if you'd just hang out with normal people!" Eddie snapped.

"I know. I'm sorry"

The other boy's eyes softened. "Besides, you did stand up for yourself. I didn't do anything other than being beaten up actually"

The words made Richie feel sick.

"It's my fault. I'm sorry. It's my fault"

"I'm just weak as fuck, it's not your fault. Maybe it's Bill's fault, he told me to go fix things with you, because I've been rude with you at lunch. He was right, by the way. Sorry if I've been rude earlier"

"I'm sorry I ghosted you to make out with that asshole"

"Beep beep! Gross! I don't want to think about it ever again, don't say it!"

"Jealous, Spaghetti?" he joked, he didn't even dare to hope that was true. Richie waited a few seconds for some comeback but it didn't come. Eddie stayed silent.

"You able to stand up?" Richie asked carefully, still thinking about the meaning of this sudden silence.

"Think so, but you'll have to help me"

"Sure thing" he replied softly, and moved Eddie's arm round his shoulders, slowly lifting both of them up.

"Are you okay?"

Eddie nodded.

"I fucked up. Do you hate me?"

"I could never hate you, Rich"

Richie bit his lips, looking at his best friend. It was now or never and he knew it.

"There's something else I didn't tell you" he said, glancing at the two letters he had carved weeks before.

"What is it?"

"I'm gay"

Eddie snorted and then moaned in pain because of the nose. "Fuck, I hope it's not broken. I sorta figured it out Rich, this whole Bowers thing, I'm not that dumb"

Richie looked scared. Terrified. This worried Eddie that looked at him with concern.

"Rich? What's wrong?"

"That's not what I was trying to say. It's... it's hard. I'm scared"

The words made Eddie's breath fasten. "Does this have something to do with _It_?"

Richie's eyes widened. "What? No!"

The other sighed in relief and then fixed his eyes on him. "Then I'm pretty sure I've seen worse, I can handle this"

"I love you" he blurted out. "Well, I already told you this probably, you're my friend, but not like this. I'm in love with you. I like you. Like _like_, I mean..." the boy was shivering. He was ready for the rejection but he knew it would be painful nonetheless.

Eddie swallowed hard like he had the mouth full of some bad medicine. "You were right, earlier" he said, in a shaky voice.

"Wh-what?"

"You were right earlier, I was jealous. I heard you were dating someone and I lost it"

Richie's knees felt weak all of a sudden and he was breathing fast. He still didn't want to interpret the words like he knew it made sense the most. He couldn't dare to hope that far, it would be too painful to be disappointed if it was going to end up being a huge misunderstanding.

"But... but why?"

"Because of this" he said, and he closed the gap between them and kissing him.

Richie froze for a moment, then closed his eyes, and when he finally realised what was going on he thought his heart just stopped beating.

Eddie was even softer than Connor. He felt cleaner. He felt right. Richie slowly caressed his cheek, and when they parted a few seconds later Eddie was frowning.

"Not with a broken nose, never again" he complained, and Richie chuckled. He softly touched the tip of his nose.

"It's not broken I think. It's cute as usual, it doesn't look crooked or something"

"Thank God, or my mom is gonna kill me" Eddie laughed.

Richie's heart warmed. Now he was feeling lucky. Very lucky. Eddie ghosted carefully another kiss on his lips and smiled. Richie took his hand and squeezed, never moving his eyes from the other's face. The other squeezed back.

It felt right. Maybe this whole Bowers thing really brought him something good, after all.

"Richie I... like _like_ you, too"

God, he was so lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, The Bowers™ are the worst, Eddie Kaspbrak is Perfect Boyfriend Material™.
> 
> I know that Connor is a child and he probably lives in an abusive family, maybe he's queer too and he has a lot of internationalized homophobia, but I can't stand him.  
Nobody can call my child Trashmout names and live enough to tell.


End file.
